2014, Chaotic Medicine

Hey there, i know i haven’t write for a very long time. So i guess my resolution for 2014 is an utter failure.

But now i wan’t to write again in this last day of 2014, about what is 2014 for me. Because 2014 is like my turning year.

2014, for me is like a bitter medicine. It felt bitter at first, but in the end it help me. 2014 help me to build a “base” for my life, a foundation for me to go to the next level. At the first stage of 2014 i was hurt and lost. But now, i feel content, happy and comfort.

The beginning of 2014 was hard for me, dealing with my parent’s divorce, my mom’s breakdown, the drama of my father and my younger sister. By that time i still work in Bali, it’s hard to taking care of my family in Jakarta while i also have to take care my own business in Bali. So i decided to let go of my business so that i can take care of my family in Jakarta, well that and i also don’t want to have anything to do with my dad.

On this stage, i feel lost. I don’t know what to do or what i want to do. “What’s next?”, well i don’t know. I did find a job in Jakarta to support myself, and spending time so that i won’t get used to the idea of doing nothing and be unproductive. I work as a salesperson for multinational charity company to help making people donate for helping their cause. “i can learn a lot here, how to interact with other people”, “sales world is a tough world, and this is to toughen me up”. That’s what i said to other people when i took this job. But in reality is “i don’t know what to do next, i just lost my business, my mind is still all over this family business and i need to support myself”.

But then i realized, if i keep doing this i’m wasting my life away and i actually know what i wan’t to do but i’m just afraid that i won’t get it. I’m actually undermine myself because i’m not a fresh-grad anymore but i don’t have a base carrier what i have is a so-so business, and a year experience as a trainer for my CV. 

NO, i decided to stop wasting my life and actually try to reach for the job that i want. I keep on saying, better late than never. In the middle of june, i get it. Now i’m a consumer research in Indonesian no.1 Marketing Research company. But this is just the beginning, i need to work hard and keep challenging myself.

By this time things got better, i have a job that i want to follow. My mom is started to seeing someone, and my sister overcome her drama.

So, i don’t get what i wished for 2014. But i get what i needed. 2014 has give me a base. A base for my carrier that i want to follow, a steady and happy family, and last but not least a person that i want to spend my life with (yes this is the first time i actually want to get settled with someone)

So.. What’s next?

I Dunno, i wan’t to focused on my work, gained more experience (and more money of course). 2014 has gave me the blueprint for my future, now i need to build it. I want to keep pushing myself and learn a lot to be a better me.

What’s the point of this blog?

The point is, it’s never to late to doing something that you want. Go for it, but also remember that baby steps is okay. Also, remember that something that you wan’t isn’t always something that you need to be happy. I didn’t get what i want for 2014, but God give me what i needed so that i can be happy. 

Also the point is, no matter how hard the shit storm happen in your life right now, like all the storm it will end. For some of you my storm this year isn't that hard, but for me it is. So for your storm, It's up to you how it will ended. You can either just let's things flow just follow the current, or embrace it, fight it and learn from it. Either way, the storm will give you pain and hardships BUT the storm will ended eventually and one way will give you more than the other.

i have a quote that i read online, i don't know who wrote it, but it stick to me the moment i saw it

"Life is not about waiting the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain"

So Embrace the storm, dance in it!



That's what i truly learn in 2014

I SINCERELY THANK YOU 2014!!

Thank you for literally everything :)